Especially when it comes to cisgender, heterosexual couples, there’s a pervasive myth that orgasm should be simultaneous. And what that ends up meaning in practice is that cis women are meant to orgasm from the same stimulation as cis men (penis in vagina sex.)
The expectation is definitely there, and the myth is perpetuated by it...
From my own experience, I get the impression that A) men either make assumption (or even lie) about their previous partners, or B) those women faked/exaggerated. Not that I blame them, I know I've exaggerated in the past and justified it as role play to add heat to the moment. Not that there isn't amazing pleasure to be had during penetration, but it's not something that has an actual climax, like a clitoral orgasm... I'd love to learn more about women's' individual experiences.
Those are great points and I think you're right on both counts. I wish people didn't feel compelled to fake pleasure but I also understand why that can feel necessary. And you're right, sometimes there can even be a fake it until you make it aspect as you can get yourself in the mood by performing pleasure, to some extent. Some good discussions come up about this in classes and while there are some folks who report vaginal orgasms under some conditions, it doesn't seem to be most of the people most of the time.
The expectation is definitely there, and the myth is perpetuated by it...
From my own experience, I get the impression that A) men either make assumption (or even lie) about their previous partners, or B) those women faked/exaggerated. Not that I blame them, I know I've exaggerated in the past and justified it as role play to add heat to the moment. Not that there isn't amazing pleasure to be had during penetration, but it's not something that has an actual climax, like a clitoral orgasm... I'd love to learn more about women's' individual experiences.
Those are great points and I think you're right on both counts. I wish people didn't feel compelled to fake pleasure but I also understand why that can feel necessary. And you're right, sometimes there can even be a fake it until you make it aspect as you can get yourself in the mood by performing pleasure, to some extent. Some good discussions come up about this in classes and while there are some folks who report vaginal orgasms under some conditions, it doesn't seem to be most of the people most of the time.
What has your experience been?