Safety issues for French kissing?

“Please forgive a dumb question from an oldster just stepping out again. I’m wondering what are the safety issues and precautions we need to attend to for french kissing?”

Not a dumb question at all! 

In our current COVID reality, I have a hard time wrapping my mind around how many people I used to kiss. While kissing was never risk-free, I used to kiss pretty freely. These days, swapping spit is a much bigger deal. 

While we don’t think of things like strep throat or the common cold as STIs, they can certainly be contracted by making out. When it comes to more traditional STIs via kissing, the main one is HSV, or Herpes. And while Herpes might sound scary (thanks to stigma, and crummy jokes) it’s generally not a big deal. And when it’s on your mouth, it usually just turns up as cold sores. In fact, something like 80% of the population carries this bug. 

HSV comes in two varieties - 1 and 2. And while generally 1 prefers the mouth and 2 prefers the genitals, they’re not too picky and can attach to any moist bit. (Even your eye!)

What about other STIs? The CDC gets a little cagey about this. They point out that aggressive enough open-mouth kissing could damage tissues or break skin — at which point there is a non-zero chance of contracting any fluid or blood borne infection. In fact, one recent study found,

"Deep kissing with tongue may be a way that gonorrhea is passed on, even if romantic partners haven’t been otherwise sexually active, according to research from Australia.” -Reuters

But don’t get overwhelmed! There’s good news — protecting yourself isn’t difficult. 

The number one way to stay safe from from any STI is to simply have a conversation with the person you’re hoping to swap spit with. 

And in our current COVID era, it’s a good idea to have a safety conversation with anyone you even want to share airspace with. (Check out my piece on COVID Conversations.) 

Having these conversations not only gives you concrete information to help with your decision making, but you learn a lot about someone based on how they have the conversation. 

Are they comfortable talking about risk and safety? Is it clear they’ve had these conversations before? Do they become defensive or standoffish? 

Safety conversations are a great way to make sure you’re on the same page with someone in terms of risk tolerance, and they’re also a great way to find out if you’re able to have important talks with each other. If someone gives you a hard time about wanting to have these conversations, or isn’t forthcoming in their answers, that’s a good sign that you’ll have trouble with other conversations down the line. 

---

Like what you see here? Please consider becoming a paid subscriber as a way to support my work.